Some people just don't think.

Today has been a pretty hard day to say the least. We have sunk more into this endeavor than Aaron and I made TOGETHER last YEAR. We are going to be in debt for the next 25 years unless we can pay the second mortgage back before then--by some miracle of a rich uncle dying that neither of us have. We are trying to be hopeful but it is so hard when we have already been down this road before.

Tonight Aaron, my friend K, and I were at this place where we assemble dinners for the month and then take them home and freeze them. It is a great idea and we have been doing it for months. (I wrote about my friend, K, several posts ago--she is a week ahead of me in all of this after many miscarriages and her numbers weren't doubling. As far as we know it is still going ok though because the numbers picked up. Her ultrasound is next Monday.) K-if you read this I hope it is ok that I wrote that. :)

Anyway, the owner of this dinner making establishment knows us very well. In Feb. 2005 they assembled all of our meals for us the day we had to put Killer to sleep--for $50--but she was so empathetic. We have discussed our infertility journey a little bit since many times between K and myself we were either doing the shots, feeling crazy, or just about to have an egg retrieval (or all of the above.) A few times K's DH came and put the meals together when she was on bed rest!

So, we got there tonight and put on our aprons. (Yes, my husband is wonderful. He assembles all the difficult meals so K and I can talk without messing up the measuring.) We were ready to get right to work and the owner said her hellos and then said, "There is a group of new ladies here that are assembling meals for new moms for Mother's Day, isn't that nice? Wouldn't it be wonderful to have all these meals as a new mom?" K and I looked at each other and wanted to puke but we smiled and finished tying our aprons. We must have given the owner a look or something--that she obviously really misread--because next she said under her breath, "Yeah, better them than us!" Huh? Did she just say what I think she said? K and I walked away and thank God K was there with me so we could stare at eachother in awe. Did she think we just left our 10 kids at home with a nanny and are so relieved that we have these precious few hours away from the madness?!

Oh, what I would give to be able to celebrate a Mother's Day. It is looking more and more like that may not ever be a reality. Today of all days, why did she have to say that? It took quite a bit of energy to peel myself out of bed this morning after the doctor's phone call. The last thing I needed was someone rubbing my face in the fact I am childless and evidently should be happy about it. I know she had no idea that what she was saying was offensive. Maybe she missed the whole "infertile" part of the past 2 years of us going there. I don't know.