All Better!

Just a quick post to let all of my faithful readers know that Kara is doing SO much better. She has gone to sleep in her crib every night for about a week with only one or two wake-ups all night. We can tell if she is going to get herself back to sleep or not. Many times we haven't gone in and within a minute or two she is back to sleep. All is good over here for now.

All Bets Are OFF!

After THE night on Thurs. she actually slept all the way until almost 9am in her crib. I was thrilled, jumping for joy, elated! On Friday we went to Aaron's school for lunch which usually wears her out. We came home and she fell asleep in her crib without much fuss at all! I felt so proud! I had made it through the worst night and we were already well on our way to sleeping success. After her nap, she started coughing. Hmmm. To make a VERY long story short--she is back on antibiotics and has the worst cold ever with a high fever, oh, and another UTI on top of it, oh, and still cutting molars and canines at the same time. I spent several nights with Kara in the guest room with her kicking me and breathing like Darth Vader all night. It is amazing how little the brain can function on only a couple hours of interrupted sleep. I was doing the strangest things on Monday. Anyway, she is on the road to recovery but we are WAY back at step one with the whole crib thing. Last night she fell asleep on her little fold out fairy bed downstairs at 8:30 while Nicole and I were watching The Biggest Loser. Aaron transferred Kara to her crib and she only woke up ONCE! Yea! Tonight she kicked and screamed wherever we tried to get her to sleep until 10:45. We can't allow her to get much more stuffy than she already is because of the cold so we tried everything. She finally crashed next to me in our bed. She is now in her crib peacefully sleeping. Everyone--cross your fingers and toes for tonight and that this is just the "re" start of good sleeping habit training. I do have some pics from when she was so sick on Sun. but I haven't uploaded them to my computer yet. I have to get some sleep now.

Bad Parenting?!

If I ever had to picture what hell would feel like--it would be this. Kara is in her crib SCREAMING. It has been almost 2 hours since we started the bedtime "routine." I am officially a bad parent. Let me go back a bit. I have always LOVED napping with her. I take the chance anytime I can get. We snuggle up and I pat her, sing to her, laugh and talk until we fall asleep. After her 15 month shots and yet another UTI infection, and teething EIGHT teeth at once I often brought her into our bed at bedtime to calm her and make us both feel better. Aaron often goes to sleep later than we do so he would just transfer her into her crib. This had been a few weeks and then we traveled for spring break. At the hotel in Utah she slept in between us in a king size bed. In Washington she slept in a Pack 'N Play at the end of the bed but if she cried we would pull her up in between us so she wouldn't wake Ryan, Summer and Baby Elizabeth (whose nursery is right next door to our room.) We got home Thurs. and that night Kara and I snuggled in my bed until she fell asleep--the routine we had already started before the trip. BUT the major problem is now she wakes up about 7 times a night SCREAMING in her crib. After several attempts at putting her back to sleep in her crib I have tried Motrin, Benedryl, taking her back into bed with us, sleeping in the guest room with her, letting her cry, music, no music, lights, no lights...dancing a sleepy dance around her crib and MUCH praying. NOTHING is working. We can not function on no sleep. I am a mess. We have been reading articles like crazy and I think they all suck.

Kara rarely cries. She is a happy-go-lucky little girl and is completely worn out right now and almost hoarse from screaming. I can't believe she hasn't passed out yet. I gave her Motrin in case her teeth are bothering her. I gave her a tiny bit of Benedryl to calm her down just a bit, I have read to her, put all of her stuffed animals that she loves in with her, snuggled, and gone in about 45 times at different time increments. This isn't working for me. I feel like my heart is in a vice and I am going to throw up. I have waited 8 years for my baby girl and I know exactly what would make her happy and I can't give it to her. ALL the research says it will take about a week and a strong commitment--oh, and no sleep. I have next week off, I am making the commitment but I feel like she is going to learn that the world sucks and it isn't comforting or predictable. I KNOW from all of my child development classes that I am doing the right thing but heart just can't take it. I can NOT imagine how she is still standing right now.

Also, even when she is sleeping with me she has been suddenly either starting to cry in her sleep or jumping up, looking around crazily and instantly relaxes when she sees me. Is she having nightmares? Is she in pain?

I know there are A LOT of mothers reading this since I talked to you all at Jamie's wedding and so many people told me that you are reading my blog but never post. I NEED you all right now. I need advice, I need encouragement, I need to know that I am doing the right thing. Or am I?

Happy Easter!

Kara was so cute today. Since we have been so busy traveling we decided to just sleep in and have a lazy morning. We got all ready and went to my parents' house for lunch. My dad and mom put together quite a tasty meal and we had fun watching Kara discover how to open plastic eggs. Easter will always be a special reminder of how the journey to Kara began. It was 2 years ago today that my parents gave us several thousand dollars hidden in Easter eggs so we could pursue adoption. And look where we are now.

Perfect Wedding

On April 3, my sister-in-law got married. We flew to Utah on Thursday night. Kara did amazingly well on the flight and LOVED it when we landed. She starting signing, "more." We got our rental car and found our hotel pretty easily. It was cold but not stormy. At the hotel Kara ate a little cup of peaches and proceeded to throw them up all over the bed when I tried to sneak in a bite of Apple/Cinnamon oatmeal. Oops. Her gag reflex is amazing. Anyway, she slept in between us in a king size bed. I don't think any of us really slept. We got ready for the wedding the next morning and it started to snow. It was SO pretty...until we had to be out in it, get to the Salt Lake Temple, and take pictures. Brrrr. Our rental car overheated and we had to turn it back in for another one. That took forever but we made it to the reception earlier than some so it all turned out ok.

We walked in and saw the bride and groom posing in front of tall windows, beautiful spring flowers blooming outside, a waterfall and snow gently falling in the background. It was breathtaking. They both looked so happy and all was right with the world.

All of the pictures of us with the bride and groom and some other really cute ones of Kara were taken with Aaron's aunt's camera. Hopefully we will get those and I can post them later.

So Behind!

We are currently in Washington. We arrived last night and will be here until Thurs. We are having such a good time with our friends and their 8-month-old daughter. Kara and Elizabeth are so cute together. Kara absolutely loves their dog, Missy. Today we went on a scenic train ride on a train built in 1918. It was Kara's first train ride and she seemed to have a great time. I will be posting more very soon hopefully because I am so behind. So much has happened in the past week. The next entry will be about our Utah trip from last Thurs. until we got here.