If I ever had to picture what hell would feel like--it would be this. Kara is in her crib SCREAMING. It has been almost 2 hours since we started the bedtime "routine." I am officially a bad parent. Let me go back a bit. I have always LOVED napping with her. I take the chance anytime I can get. We snuggle up and I pat her, sing to her, laugh and talk until we fall asleep. After her 15 month shots and yet another UTI infection, and teething EIGHT teeth at once I often brought her into our bed at bedtime to calm her and make us both feel better. Aaron often goes to sleep later than we do so he would just transfer her into her crib. This had been a few weeks and then we traveled for spring break. At the hotel in Utah she slept in between us in a king size bed. In Washington she slept in a Pack 'N Play at the end of the bed but if she cried we would pull her up in between us so she wouldn't wake Ryan, Summer and Baby Elizabeth (whose nursery is right next door to our room.) We got home Thurs. and that night Kara and I snuggled in my bed until she fell asleep--the routine we had already started before the trip. BUT the major problem is now she wakes up about 7 times a night SCREAMING in her crib. After several attempts at putting her back to sleep in her crib I have tried Motrin, Benedryl, taking her back into bed with us, sleeping in the guest room with her, letting her cry, music, no music, lights, no lights...dancing a sleepy dance around her crib and MUCH praying. NOTHING is working. We can not function on no sleep. I am a mess. We have been reading articles like crazy and I think they all suck.
Kara rarely cries. She is a happy-go-lucky little girl and is completely worn out right now and almost hoarse from screaming. I can't believe she hasn't passed out yet. I gave her Motrin in case her teeth are bothering her. I gave her a tiny bit of Benedryl to calm her down just a bit, I have read to her, put all of her stuffed animals that she loves in with her, snuggled, and gone in about 45 times at different time increments. This isn't working for me. I feel like my heart is in a vice and I am going to throw up. I have waited 8 years for my baby girl and I know exactly what would make her happy and I can't give it to her. ALL the research says it will take about a week and a strong commitment--oh, and no sleep. I have next week off, I am making the commitment but I feel like she is going to learn that the world sucks and it isn't comforting or predictable. I KNOW from all of my child development classes that I am doing the right thing but heart just can't take it. I can NOT imagine how she is still standing right now.
Also, even when she is sleeping with me she has been suddenly either starting to cry in her sleep or jumping up, looking around crazily and instantly relaxes when she sees me. Is she having nightmares? Is she in pain?
I know there are A LOT of mothers reading this since I talked to you all at Jamie's wedding and so many people told me that you are reading my blog but never post. I NEED you all right now. I need advice, I need encouragement, I need to know that I am doing the right thing. Or am I?
6 comments:
You are an amazing mom and do not beat yourself up. She will get back to sleeping in her own bed. it is so hard to hear them cry and only you will know what to do. Listen to your heart. prayers are answered. I used pray all the time raising my kids. We do our best and love uncondionally. Hang in there.
It's so hard. But you will get past it. It's too bad that time slows down when you're not getting sleep, though. I know you've read a lot already, but have you tried the "On Becoming BabyWise" books? They were my saviors.
Poor Kara bug. A lot of changes for her lately, and I am guessing she is very much overwhelmed and just needs to get back into the old routine again. Hopefully things will turn around here very soon. Emily NEVER travels well. She constantly moves around in her sleep and wakes up crying. It used to take about a week to get back into old routines, but now she is tons better and it just takes about one day now. You are doing great...hang in there! Oh the joys of parenthood!
I will just have to call you! I know how hard it is, and you it is normal. Yes, they have to learn, and yes you feel like you are going to die. there is nothing worse that listening to your child scream and not going to her or givingher what she wants. But you have to be strong, because the other side is so much better. After your week of hell, it's great:)
It is most probably a phase so it will pass. Doesn't make it any easier though. You are a great parent and go with your instincts. It will get better. Coming back from vacation is always hard, once she is back into her routine things will settle in.
I second everything said above. I still remember doing this with my oldest two children and wanting to cry outside their doors because I knew they were miserable and I couldn't help them. In reality, I think you are helping her. She just doesn't know it.:) I found a book with my last that I really liked. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. I really liked it and wished I'd had it with all my children. I don't remember all of the details now as it's been 7 years now, but it was very helpful! It was recommended to me by a mother of twins who needed some help with sleeping schedules, too. Good luck! :)
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