Monday, December 03, 2007

We are in love.



I didn't think it was possible to be so in love with such a tiny being. Oh, don't get me wrong--I love Ellie to death but this little life has stolen our hearts. We don't want to take our eyes off her for a second because we might miss something--a look, a stretch, a yawn. She is such a perfect little girl. Anytime Aaron is anywhere within earshot she tries so hard turning her head and looking toward the direction of his voice. She barely cries because we can tell when she is 'thinking about it' and fix the problem before it starts. She is just an angel. She is going to be such a 'Daddy's Girl' and I am more than thrilled with that. Aaron has such a gentle way with her it just brings me to tears when I walk in to him smiling to her or singing to her and kissing her on the forehead. We are so blessed.

Yesterday we said our goodbyes in the hospital to the birthparents. It was SO hard. We are amazed at their selflessness and their courage. I cried so hard for them and their grief and for us and our joy at the same time. I sobbed the whole way out of the hospital carrying her. After all of our loss and pain I couldn't and still can't believe we actually got to leave a hospital with a perfect, beautiful baby girl. I cried all the way to the hotel. When we arrived at the hotel the manager had upgraded us to a mini-suite for the same price as our other room AND had signs everywhere (on the front doors, the elevators, and all over our room) that said "WELCOME HOME KARA GRACE." Of course, we cried some more. This is all so surreal. Of course we want to be home with her but we feel like we are the only people in the world right now. Our hotel is empty, not many people are outside, it snows on and off--this is all like a dream. We just want to soak in every second. Even the 3 hours we were awake between 5 and 8 this morning with her. She just wants to take in everything. Well, I need to go get myself a kleenex. :) Please continue to pray for the safety of all of us and for the birthparents. We can't even fathom the grief they must be dealing with today. I will post again soon.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kim and Aaron, again, a thanks for the love that you are showing Kara, and the continued love that we know you will. I sadly have been spending my day on your blog page (I'm not stalking you!). We have yet to get our pictures developed, so we have stolen yours and printed a copy. We can say, these are our Friends, and this is their new baby. We are so proud that you guys get to see all of the firsts, cherish them, but when they are seconds, they are just as precious. I hope that I am not "invading" by replying to your posts, but it helps more than you could know. Again, Kim, Aaron, and Kara, We love you!

Anonymous said...

I ask of you a prayer today

to help push the pain and grief away

I said I would not get too close

Now I wish that I were comatose



I met you just the other day

I asked forgiveness in every way

for life and love and uncertainty

you'll always be a part of me



The part of me I had to give

in order for my heart to live

the choices that were made were rough

but in the end I'll just play tough



I strive myself to carry on

I have my own to keep me strong

An I love you that used to be

just a simple phrase to me



I keep my head to stay up high

I keep my sleeves to dry my eyes

for tears of joy will never be

I cry for you and cry for me



I know one day you'll understand

it isn't easy to comprehend

you are a gift from God above

sent for another couple's love



To them you complete a family

the Angel on the Christmas tree

the sleepless nights I'll somehow miss

and hope that you will grant their wish



I met them just the other day

I'd have it not another way

to the parents that you have blessed

Will give you nothing but the best

We think of them of friends of new

A friendship that can't be more true

To these friends we give our soul

in order for them to be whole

We ask of them a simple thing

understand it truly is happiness they bring

although for now we have to cry

without their support we would have died


Although at times I'm feeling numb

I know you'll know this wasn't fun

The choice was made and just for you

for life and love can be so true



A million hearts today you break

The gift of life has been at stake

Today you sleep with your new mom

Just remember we've loved you all along



These are just words put into verse

I hope the past has held the worst

saying goodbye to you this way

putting on a smile for another day



I know that it is you that has been blessed

I know it is us that can not rest

in time our broken hearts will mend

Our time with you came to an end



Remember in the future though

life is a long and winding road

if you choose that you we've wronged

Please understand you are where you belong.



God has granted us this pain

a day of thunder and of rain

to show to us the angels cry

but our love for you will never die

Anonymous said...

please take care of her the best that you can I know that you will. and Kara I know you won't ever get to meet me but I still love you,your my blood and you are so adorable. you guys deserve the best and I think that Kara will give you the best.
Thank You

Marci said...

I can't even see what I'm typing because the tears won't stop coming!!! The birth parents' words really touched me. What a roller coaster of emotions..and I'm just the sister! I think about you all day and pray for you all night till I fall asleep. I can't wait to meet my new neice, Kara Grace. I'm so in love with her already. I stare at her pic. and Jordan looks at it and sais, "baby!" We love you guys!

Melissa said...

I'm so happy for you and Aaron, and feel so lucky to be witnessing such a miracle. How nice for the hotel to upgrade you and put up signs. Little Kara is blessed to have so many people rooting for her. Enjoy the rest of your time in Michigan and have a safe trip home!

Anonymous said...

Oh shit, this is making me cry...

So understand exactly what you are feeling.

I'm so excited for you guys, she is a complete angel.

Safe travels home, keeping you guys in my thoughts.
Love,
Kimmer

Rob said...

I still recall using B-Father before I figured I could do my own blogger page and not seem SO stupid! Looking back through memory lane, bittersweet memories with no regrets. :)